Me-hee-co!

My parents' 50th wedding anniversary is in July. So, in celebration, they took all of us kids and the spouses (and my date, my rad cousin Emily) to Mexico. It was amazing! We went to a resort called Barcelo Maya, just south of Tulum.





The week consisted of some major beach time, eating, seeing the Mayan ruins of Chichen Itza and Tulum, eating, massages on the beach, more eating.





Emily is the best travel partner ever! She just jumped right in with my family and everyone had a great time. She and my sister Cyndi are both pregnant, and they were such troupers. I heart her. She is a total party.















This is Chichen Itza; it was fascinating to learn about the ancient Mayan civilization. Tulum was also really cool.





Obviously, scenic views were not hard to find.

















We ate a ton, of course, because everything was basically a buffet, or 4 course meal.















Sarah, Mike and I went to the Discotheque. It was so lame, and gross. Just a yucky club. But we
danced and laughed our guts out for about 15 minutes. Sarah and I totally know how to work it, for sure. This is our famous dance move, the Back Scratch. It's going to be big.













So, on the website were all these super happy-looking couples dressed all in white, for some reason, to show the amazing-ness of Barcelo. Mike and Sarah assumed that was the dress code.














My cute parents! My mom LOVES the beach. Seriously.













Sometimes I think I can do yoga. It's fine. Don't be alarmed. I know my standing leg is bent; I didn't say I was good.


One of my favorite things of the week was the cenote. It is a huge sink hole with water in it. In ancient times the Mayans would throw human sacrifices in to appease whatever gods they were worshipping. This one was discovered and cleaned out, obviously, but apparently it was just filled with jewels and human remains. So creepy, but gorgeous!







On Thursday night, we had a big celebration of the anniversary. Sure do think my parents are cool.


The Anniversary couple...






























My SIL's Becca and Melissa. Love.




















And...spa day for the ladies...don't be jealous.














Pretty much, it was bliss. And not fun to come back to a snow storm.

My Faves #1

I was reading my scriptures this morning, and came across Matthew 18: 11-13, the Parable of the Lost Sheep.

11For the Son of man is come to save that which was lost.

12How think ye? if a man have an hundred ^asheep, and one of them be gone astray, doth he not leave the ninety and nine, and goeth into the mountains, and seeketh that which is gone astray?

13And if so be that he find it, verily I say unto you, he rejoiceth more of that sheep, than of the ninety and nine which went not astray.

I have decided that this is my favorite parable, because of how it illustrates that we are all known to God, and loved by Him. We are loved enough that Jesus Christ comes looking for us individually, until we are found. We ALL need finding. I believe that so strongly, and I know that I am known and loved by my Father in Heaven and Jesus Christ. I know that, and it is amazing to me.

I also believe, maybe more than I have in the past, that God and Christ REJOICE when we are found, and maybe even more for us at those times than at the times we think we are doing everything expected of us. They rejoice because we are learning and progressing, and coming closer to them in humility, FINALLY. Sometimes it is through the hard way, but I know that there are some things I have to learn the hard way. The last few years of my life would testify to that, but if I had not have been through the things I have, I would not be in a place to learn the things I am learning now. And I would like to think God is rejoicing over me finally saying, OK. Teach me.

One of my favorite songs right now is Amy Grant's "Better than a Hallelujah." This song says it all, in my opinion. The video is kind of sad, but see it through to the end. Enjoy.

Promise to Myself #1

Last weekend I did a benefit concert for the Syd Riggs Foundation. It was to raise money for scholarships for graduating seniors in the Arts from Orem High School. I had so much fun! I really love doing concerts, I have to say. The time commitment is low, it is really fun, I get to sing fun songs, and usually I am with great friends. This concert was no different. I sang songs that I haven't done before (material from Smokey Joe's Cafe and "No Good Deed" from Wicked) and sang like I haven't gotten to for a long time. And, quite honestly, last Saturday was my wedding anniversary, so it was particularly great to have something so fun to do on what could have otherwise been a really hard day for me. For that, I was grateful.

Some of the people involved were old friends that I haven't seen for years, and it was such a pleasure to see them, and to hear them all sing agan. I felt like I was at a reunion. The audiences were not the biggest, but they were so enthusiastic, it didn't matter.

I drove away from that evening, green-painted face and all, and wondered why I had let my love of performing take a back seat in my life over the last few years. I felt so amazing and fulfilled; how had I stopped paying attention to my passion, something that is so much a part of who I am? There are a few reasons for that, and some were very justifiable. But the fact is, I stopped making what I love to do a priority for me, and I have no one to blame but myself. I stopped making ME a priority, and I can never do that again. I don't know what form performance will take for me yet, professional or non-professional, but I need it. I have thought about that a lot in the last year, and have vowed to make sure I am filling that need in myself. It is my responsibility, and I promise myself to pay more attention to that, because no one else can or should do that for me.

Welcome to the beginnings of my brain post-divorce. Welcome to Nicole Riding 2.0. Unfortunately, in my software upgrade, sometimes I still can't figure out a light, witty way to end my posts. I still have a few kinks to work out. Like any new version of an Iphone.

No Filter.

Are any of your surprised by this title? I didn't think so.

So, yesterday, our church choir was rehearsing for the Christmas program. We were practicing "Silent Night," and there was an issue about the cut-off for the end of the line "Sleep in Heavenly Peace." Too many people were putting too much emphasis on the S sound in Peace, which is pretty common. Someone suggested that if they were not sure when to end the word, to just not say the S at all. So, of course, I pipe up and say....

"But the means you are sleeping in heavenly pee!"

....I thought I was pretty funny.

You know who else thought I was funny?

My dad.

My mom was a little grossed out.

Others were a little bit shocked at my irreverence, and gave that nervous laughter. In my life, sadly, I have heard that many times in result of something I have said.

Irreverent, yes. But funny.

New

Note: This post is in no way a derogatory reflection on my marriage. I never have, I don't now, nor will I ever publicly speak about the fall out, and subsequent end, of my marriage. Anyway...

I changed my name on Monday. Back to my birth name of Kathleen Nicole Riding. Over the last few months, I have thought a lot about what it meant to me to change my name. To leave Nicole Bell behind and go back to Nicole Riding. I never wanted to NOT be Nicole Bell; there were really great things about being that person. But, under the circumstances, I did not have a reason to keep that last name, and I wanted mine back. So what did that mean for me?

I decided that I could never just go back to the person I was before I was married. So the Nicole Riding I am today, again, is the same person, but totally different, than the Nicole Riding I was 6 years ago. It has to be so; life experience and age change us. So, again, if I can't be the same old Nicole I was, who am I?

Nicole Riding 2.0.

Computer software has upgrades all the time, why can't I? I am moving forward in my life better, stronger, and will be healthier than Nicole Riding ever has been, before she was Nicole Bell at all. So I am an upgrade.

And the great thing is? For the first time in this whole process, I truly feel like I now have a clean slate. And that is a really nice feeling.

At the same time, I feel like "I'm back." And that feels really good.

Now, in case any of you fear I will change into some kind of super-hero (I will hold out for that), never fear. Tennis shoes are still my shoe of choice, I still eat too much, say way too many stupid things, and generally still embarrass myself (or I should be embarrassed, but am not) or the people around me on a pretty regular basis. Don't panic. Upgrades don't mean a whole new system. Just a better version of the old one. There. You can sleep tonight.

Welcome.

Thanks for coming! Clearly, I have not posted yet. But I will. Seriously. Come back, where are you going??