So, life has been pretty good lately. It has felt calm, but with a sense of purpose. I have made some great decisions about the next chapter of my life, and I am finally moving forward. I am about to open a really fun show, Crazy For You at the Hale in Orem, and my role is really fun, and my biggest stress with it is how to keep a straight face on stage with the actor who plays my opposite. And how to dance in my 3-inch stilettos.
Last week, as I was driving (ironically) to a session with my therapist, I started to think about what to talk to her about. I have a few little quirks I have discovered that I might want to process, but nothing major. No anxiety in my space for a while, and none on the horizon. What a nice feeling.
I realized, with a rush of gratitude that enveloped my whole soul, that right now is basically the first time in 9 years that I have not felt like I have been in the midst of one trial or another. Aside from your average daily concerns and minor things that anyone might worry about, I do not have much in the way of personal adversity in my life at this moment. I couldn't believe it. I cried. Hard. In my car.
I can honestly say, without any caveats in my head, that I am really happy. I know I am supposed to be happy "even in the midst of trial," but you know what? That is really hard sometimes, and even when I am doing really well with a particular issue, and I am content, and I can say life is good, for a long time I have still had things pressing down on my spirit. And I know this won't last; before too long I am sure I will have another growing experience. And that is as it should be, I guess. But for the time being, I am at rest.
I just thank God for this right now. That's all.