Last Weeks in Utah

I have some catching up to do about some really fun things about my summer, like my family reunion and doing Crazy For You.  This summer really has been a total party.  But I am going to skip ahead to what is a little bit more relevant right now, then I will double back.  I hate backtracking.  It is so inefficient, but, since I know myself well enough to know that I will not do 4 posts in one sitting, I just need to do the backtracking.  Bleh.  Anyway...

I also hate goodbyes.  I have finally figured out and accepted that I am terrible at them.  So, the last few weeks of being in Utah were hard, so fun, crazy busy, and lovely.  But it really is difficult and sad to say goodbye to people and places that mean so much to me while at the same time being so excited to move forward.  So, it was an interesting two weeks.

First of all, let me just say that when I am in goodbye mode, it pretty much equals vacation mode.  Lunch dates, dinner dates, activities, parties, sooo much eating.  I love to eat.  And I ate a lot right before I left.  I am not sure I have stopped yet, but that is a different post.




I went to eat awesome Indian food with my girls Katie and Chalyce.  We have been friends since high school, and I am only sad that our other high school friends couldn't make it.  But I love them, and even though we don't see each other much anyway, it was hard knowing we would not be in the same vicinity anymore.  That type of relationship where we all have our own lives, but live in the security of knowing we are always there for each other, and have one another's support, unconditionally.  I love those friendships.  They are priceless to me.  We finished off the night with Yogurtland, of course.



Carly Jean came to town, so we did the Einstein's thing with Amanda and Rob.  Dear friends, always the same love, always the same laughter.  So cheesy, and so true!  What you are not seeing is the awkward position my arms were in for this picture with Rob.  It was weird, and I am not sure what I was doing in trying to get close to him.  I will never know.

Labor Day weekend I headed down to St. George to see Mike and Sarah for a day.  We took off to Quail Creek to do some wake boarding.  I have not gone in so long, and it was really fun!



Mike and James and I.  James....I just want to squeeze him.






 



Lincoln, James and Sam, braving the big inner-tube.  What awesome boys.

















 
I sure love Mike and Sarah and their crazy boys, and am sad I will miss Little Girl Peanut arriving in November.  But I sure did buy her a cute outfit.  And don't think I don't have my eye out for some great baby stuff every time I head to China Town in Lower Manhattan.  Because I do.  Like when I see a pink onsie that says, in bling, "New York Princess."  You just buy those things.  You do.

Sunday I headed up to the Ranch for Labor Day with Aunt Alice and Uncle Mike, Laura and her family, and Emily and her family.  I love the Ranch so much, and I love it even more when it is so quiet.  When there are less people, there is more opportunity for some real quality time.  I just had to get my Ranch fix in before I left.  Don't know when I will get to go again.  SOOO sad about it.

 


Labor Day morning girl talk/therapy session.  Worth every penny we all paid for it, and so good to be with women I adore.  I love family.










Uncle Mike never sits down and does a puzzle with Alice.  Apparently, today was a milestone.  Congratulations, Mike.  I am glad we could all witness that.





Upon returning home, it was the start of what Joseph and Rob called "Nicole's Jubilee Week."  Almost every day, there was some gathering, some party happening.  Just really an excuse to spend time together with friends as much as possible before my departure.  I had a few friends over on the evening of Labor Day for a barbecue, really hosted by Mom and Dad.  I have a weird complex about Mapletopia.  I love it so much, but am insecure enough that I subconsciously assume that no one likes me enough that they would want to come "all the way down to Mapleton" for a gathering.  So I never plan anything, and I always end up traveling to everyone and everywhere else.   And then I have experiences where I plan something, people come, have a great time, and I wonder why I don't do it more often.  Monday night was one of those nights.  We had a great time.  Of course.  Complete with some singing time, rhythmic jumping on the trampoline, and exercise ball routines.  Even people in their thirties get hyper and obnoxious.  And really funny.  Announcement: people really do like me enough to come to Mapleton.  Maybe it is just that Mapleton is so pretty, and my mom and dad cooked.  But I will assume it was because I am loved.  Yes, that's it.

Courtney, Shawn, Chad and Amanda gave our friend Deb and I a farewell party on Tuesday, since we both moved to NYC at the same time.  So much love!

Amanda, Deb, me, Katie, Larene.  Girls I love.

Amanda, one of my dearest friends.  She looks out for me, and I will really miss her!

Amanda and Courtney, the party queen, my hair stylist, and fabulous friend.

Chris and Brad, so glad they came to say goodbye.

Shawn!  My secret boyfriend!

Chad, one of my faves.  For real.  Known him forever, and really one of my favorite people.

Crazy friends: Melissa, Deb, Taylor, Chad.  Huge contributors to my summer being so great.

Shawn, Chad, and Courtney Little.  Joseph Ogden.  Thanksgiving buddies, and staple friends.  I'll keep 'em.

Deb and I, off to be stars...or something.

 The next day, a bunch of us sure did meet up at Smashburger for lunch.

 

And, don't worry, lunch again on Thursday with the Littles and Joseph, and crepes on Friday with some Crazy folk and these guys.  Emily and Ames Bell.  We are going to start an acting conservatory together someday, and this is our professional face.  It's going to be good.  Ames is just happy to be there.

 Saturday was just a day to get stuff done, and watch one final episode of Foyle's War with Mom and Dad.

Sunday came, and Teresa and Layne and fam came down from Salt Lake, and Jen, Ally, and Josh came from BYU.  Like I said, and will say again, I sure love my family, and will miss them so much!  I miss them already. 

Doesn't Layne look good?  One month into chemo, five to go, but hey, he looks great!

My parents.  I can't even say what they have meant to me these last few years.  So grateful for them.

As I thought about leaving Utah, it was a very profound moment for me.  I have lived in, and left, Utah multiple times in my life.  And it is always the end of something, and the start of something new.  But with everything that living here has meant to me and for me this time around, leaving is a little different.  Leaving Utah is truly turning a page, more so than in the past.  I came to Utah to get a divorce, and have a soft place to land with my family.  Being here was my transition from marriage to being single again.  I have grieved here, cried here, hit rock bottom here, processed here, healed here, found grace here, and found new life within myself here.  Some of my darkest days and brightest mornings have been here.  I have been stripped down to my core and built back up from the inside out here.  It is an end and a beginning, even more than I would have thought.  It really has been a very profound realization.  With leaving, I am leaving behind so much, and really starting new.

And I am so, so ready.