Last weekend was
General Conference. I always love that weekend for so many reasons. Not only do we get to hear great talks from the leaders of my
church, but it kind of feels like a holiday weekend to me. No formal church, getting together with family or friends, and of course, the food. Oh, the FOOD!
My roommate Abby called it the Mormon Super Bowl, and how right she is.
I spent the weekend with some of my favorite people in the city. I have great friends. We play together, eat together, take walks together, plank together.....
And, as a side note, I met my first hairless cat at Carolyn's house, which belongs to her roommate. Who knew these creatures existed? I didn't, and I am not sure how I feel about it now that I know. Just saying.
Anyway, it was great. This morning I reread one of my
favorite talks, the one by Elaine S. Dalton about being daughters of God. Last weekend as I listened I just felt really empowered as a woman. Today was no different, but since I was reading, I could take a little more time and develop some specific thoughts. Here are some of my favorite quotes:
"As daughters of God we are each unique and different in our circumstances and experiences. And yet our part matters—because
we matter."
I love this so much. We ARE all different, but we all contribute to this world, and we MATTER. I matter.
"Again I renew the call for a return to virtue. Virtue is the strength
and power of daughters of God. What would the world be like if virtue—a
pattern of thought and behavior based on high moral standards, including
chastity—were reinstated in our society as a most highly prized value? If immorality, pornography,
and abuse decreased, would there be fewer broken marriages, broken
lives, and broken hearts? Would media ennoble and enable rather than
objectify and degrade God’s precious daughters? If all humanity really
understood the importance of the statement “We are daughters of our
Heavenly Father,” how would women be regarded and treated?"
I do wonder what the world would be like if virtue were revered as it should be. I really can't even imagine it. But it would be a beautiful place. I don't have a lot that is profound to say about this passage, but I just like it.
"In a morally desensitizing world, young women need women and men to
“stand as witnesses of God at all times and in all things, and in all
places.” Never before has this been more important than now. Young women
need mothers and mentors who exemplify virtuous womanhood. Mothers,
your relationship with your daughter is of paramount importance, and so
is your example. How you love and honor her father, his priesthood, and
his divine role will be reflected and perhaps amplified in your
daughter’s attitudes and behavior."
This was my favorite passage. First of all, young women do need women AND men to stand as witnesses of God. They need women in order to know what to aspire to as a woman; they need men in order to know what to look for in a partner. I just liked how Sister Dalton did not let anyone off the hook with that statement; we are all accountable to lead the youth. Also, she nails women to the wall on how much affect their relationship with the father of their children will have on their daughters. We hear a lot about that principle from the male perspective on how they should be treating us. But the principle goes both ways, and we women could stand to hear it. Sister Dalton is not saying be submissive to the head of the household; she is saying love, honor, respect your spouse/baby daddy. Show your daughters what that looks like. Ideally, both spouses are doing it for each other.
But the phrase that really stuck out to me was "Young women
need mothers and mentors who exemplify virtuous womanhood."
As a single woman in my church, I notice how often people refer to women mostly in the context of being mothers. It even happens in this talk a lot as well, and I can understand why, since we do believe that is our divine purpose as women, to be mothers. I not offended, per se; they are probably speaking to the majority. But I just don't relate to it, since I have no children, and sometimes there is a little part of me that feels left out, maybe. Like whoever is speaking is unaware of me, and others in my situation, childless, for so many different reasons. And, I am sorry, but it feels like such a consolation prize when people say that "we are all mothers," whether it is because we are actual mothers, or aunts, or friends, etc. Like being invited to a party as an afterthought because someone felt sorry for me. NOT THE SAME.
However, I can really get behind the idea of being a mentor. As a mentor, I can contribute to the well-being of a youth in my sphere of influence and feel like I am in my element, and not trying to be someone I am not. I am not trying to nose my way in to being something to someone I have no desire to be; their mother, or second mother, or whatever. But I can mentor.
Maybe it is just a question of word choice for me. But the thought of being a mentor fills me with the desire to follow through on that call to action, to be an example of a virtuous woman to whomever is watching. It spoke to me in a way that being a figurative "mother" has not. It gave a legitimate name to the contribution I can make, that I would love to make.
I think of my nieces, and I want to be that person for them. The type of woman they can emulate, should they choose to. I think of my nephews, and I want to be that person for them. The type of woman they can use as a gauge for when they are dating and looking for marriage, should they choose to.
I just loved this talk. There are others I loved, but this made me think a lot today, and I really felt empowered, ennobled, and enabled to work harder to be that virtuous woman, so that I can contribute my part to this world as best I can.
Since I lack a really graceful ending to my thoughts, I will leave you with a picture of my first foray into Coronet's Pizza last Saturday between sessions. And Deb's photo bomb.
