The New Year Starts Out Right...

Eva, just shakin' it.

...With a short visit to St. George to see Mike and Sarah before heading back to the NYC.  It was very low key, and just what I needed to end my trip. Since I saw them last, they added a new member- a dog named, wait for it....Fiyero.  I couldn't stop singing "Fiiiyeeeeeeeerrrrrroooooo!"  The whole weekend.  And Mike LOVES him.  I never thought I would see the day.

On Sunday Mike drove me to Vegas to catch my flight, but we stopped at my Aunt Ruth and Uncle Tom's for dinner with them and Emily and her family.  THEN.  I saw my Vegas girls, who I miss so much, for literally an hour as they picked me up and actually drove me to the airport.  It has been way too long, and it was so good to be reminded of these relationships I built with these crazy, amazing women when I lived there.  

Finally I got home, and Sharon welcomed me back with my first official cronut.  A hybrid of donut and a croissant.  That's friendship.

It was a great trip.  Bring on 2015.

Mike, being a VERY good sport.

James showing me his new bike.

The proof.

This guy.  Seriously.

And these crazies.

Not bad for a desert sunset.

Oh, how I miss them!  Shalisse, Tate, Rochelle, and Erin (behind the camera)

                              

Christmas

Yes, I know it is March.  Get over it.  I'll make this quick.  Christmas at home was a joy, as usual.  It started out really quiet; I got home to Mapleton the morning of Christmas Eve, after a late night flight and crashing on Dave's couch.  It was great to see Mom and Dad!  And Mom had totally prepped the house with my "Welcome Home" sign.  I love her!

It was just the three of us till about mid day on Christmas Day, for the first time.  It was different, but really nice.  After coming home, I went on a run and then got right to work on my Christmas Eve projects, AKA tons of baking with a movie or two in the background.  Nothing but good, people.

We tried finding our first Christmas Mass in Utah, and though it left much to be desired (sorry, Payson), I think we were glad we went...?  (I reeeeally missed NYC at this moment).  But it was a nice night with my parents anyway.  

Christmas morning, Santa brought me, among other things, some cake bites.  With one missing.  That Santa.  I like him. 

 A huge storm came in, and I actually didn't even leave my house for about 36 hours.  

It was amazing.  Thankfully, all the people who were trying to get to our house did so safely, and all was well that Christmas night.  There was time for food, people I love, selfies with Maggie and singing from Ainsley.  What could be better, I say?

I love both our Christmas tree and our nativity set that is older than I am.  It brings back such great childhood memories, so I needed to put the picture up for my own sake.  

This pretty much summed up my Christmas Day: 

Mom's birthday, yet again, was the next day.  Crazy how that happens!  Mike and Sarah made it for the weekend.  You know, these people are the reason why I don't reach out to too many friends when I am in town.  All I want to do is hang out with my family.  It's the best.

Eva and James, just showing us life.

The weekend after Christmas was just pure family time.  It was awesome.  Lucy was a sick little girl, but that also meant that she had amazing bed hair.  So there's that.

Mike and Sarah stayed a few extra days and I was so glad! 

 

Lincoln, James, Sam and Eva helping me with the Christmas cookies.

I'm also realizing I don't take many pics of the adults that are around.  Just the kids, mostly.  Carry on...

Token adult: Grandpa.

By the next week I was going a little bit stir crazy, I must admit.  So I did get out to see some friends, and did NYE with my usual people, who I love.  The Littles, Tinneys, Amanda Crabb, Rob Moffat (and his fiance Courtney), and Joseph Ogden.  We went to dinner and a show, and it was lovely, as usual.  I love these hysterical crazies, and their need for reverence snacks no matter where we go.

However, my NYE celebrations began that afternoon with a jaunt up to SLC  to meet with some of my New York ladies, Abby, Mel, and Carolyn. Abby and Carolyn are gone from NYC, so we got to catch up over some amazing hot chocolate.  My girls, minus Deb.  Hence the sad faces.

Then I made it down to American Fork to say hey to Dave and family for their celebration.  They totally know how to party!

Emily, Caleb, Ainsely and Lucy, decked out for the night.

Lucy, feeling just fine by now, giving it to us as the New Year Baby.

Ainsley, showing me how it's done with the sparklers.

Can I just end by talking about how beatiful it is in Mapleton?  That's all.  Happy New Year!

Circling The Chocolate Wagons

Apparently I have been on a huge blogging hiatus.  Seeing as how it is now March and I still have not documented Christmas, I think "hiatus" is a good way to put it.  But, before I backtrack a few months, I need to touch my post from about a year ago about my family's way of ""circling the wagons."   Last weekend we took it to a whole new level, and it was a truly profound experience for all of us, I think, as I once again found myself the beneficiary of my family's love and sacrifice on my behalf.

Do I have something in my teeth?

I auditioned for graduate school on February 28th.  Yep, I did it.  It was a quick decision, but well-thought out and deliberate at the same time.  

Jen and Ally, supporting from Provo.

My girl Kate.  In Texas.

I threw the theoretical hat in the ring for Penn State's MFA Acting program.  This is something I have thought about off and on for a few years, and this year, the stars seemed to align where I felt like I needed to just go for it.  I was too late to audition anywhere else, but I really like Penn's program, so I went ahead.  It was a busy month with getting my audition ready (two monologues, totally doable), writing my statement of purpose, securing transcripts and letters of recommendation, on top of life in general.  But I felt really good about it.

Mom, pre-gaming it at a concert with Teresa.

T's kids with Dave and chocolate shakes in Utah.

I took myself on a bus to State College, PA and auditioned my little heart out.  And didn't get a callback.  That was it.  All that work for 5 minutes.  Actually, it was not unlike many auditions I have had, so not that unusual, but still disappointing.  That's OK.  It seemed like God was telling me "not right now." 

My failed attempt to capture the gorgeous Pennsylvania countryside.

Juuuust on the bus.  Eating my TJ's dark chocolate PB cups. Heaven.

 At least, I have to believe He was, since I had worked so hard and felt so prepared.  Anyway, I took myself to a yummy breakfast in consolation. (Naturally).

Carolynn and Caden, illustrating that even eating chocolate can be organized and orderly in Texas.

Tim and Gavin totally cheating with a protein shake.  But I'll take it.

In the meantime, I had sent out a group text to my family for support beforehand, so I had to go back and tell everyone that nothing panned out.  For the record, that is why I don't really like talking about big auditions. 

Maggie with her first taste of chocolate in Utah.  You're welcome, Mags!

Mike and Sarah taking one for the team in Utah.

Cyndi "Mastermind" Cannon in Oregon.

 When they don't go anywhere, I have to go back and tell everyone they didn't, then deal with pity that I don't need or want.  Fortunately, my family isn't like that. As we were all commiserating together (over text of course; we are a 21st century family), Cyndi suggested we all eat some chocolate in support of my disappointment.  

WHAT A BRILLIANT IDEA.

So at 4pm Eastern Time, I got all of these pictures texted to me from all over the country, evidence of my family's support. 

The Cannon kids giving selfless service.  Is there a merit badge for this?

 I may have cried.  

Ethan using the Cannon Center at BYU to drown my sorrows by proxy.

I didn't, actually.  But I laughed really hard, and enjoyed  my family's wacky greatness.

First prize and another momentous event: John and Naomi took their first selfie, everyone.  FIRST SELFIE.  Who says these old dogs can't learn new tricks?  And it was all for me!  That's love.

Good job guys!  Your social networking training is complete!

I learned a few things with this experience.

1.  My family is hysterical.  I really already knew that.  So I'm cheating a bit here. 

2. Gary and Melissa's house is absolutely the best place to eat my feelings.  Without question.

Gary and Melissa for the win in Texas!

Deep Thoughts

It's been a while since I've written an actual thoughtful post.  I guess it's about time to put the old thinking cap on and actually get serious for a minute.

My nephew Josh is serving a mission in Guatemala.  Today I was catching up on his letters home on a blog his mom keeps up on his behalf.  As he was relating an experience he had with an investigator, he said this:

"I think one thing I've come to learn on my mission is how Heavenly Father feels when men mistreat His daughters.  From what I've seen in situations like this and caring for the sisters in my district or zone, I can tell that, wow, it's something serious."

That struck me so hard.  I got teary-eyed here in the office I'm working in today, and was glad no one could see me.  The truth of that statement went to my very core that YES, Heavenly Father loves me and the women of this world so much, and He is so saddened when we are mistreated by men.  (This is truth for all of God's children, of course.  But I'm talking specifically here).  I thought about the women Josh works with, both the women in Guatemala, and the sister missionaries he works with as a zone leader.  I thought how lucky he is to be learning this poignant, life-changing lesson right now by watching someone else's experiences and not by his own mistakes.  I then realized how sad God must have been when my marriage was ending, and throughout when He saw things I didn't.  

Then my thoughts led me to this place, and not for the first time.  I have not spoken much publicly (aka Facebook or other social networking forums where this is a hot topic) about the whole women and the priesthood issue in the LDS Church.  I haven't felt the need to.  There are already too many people's thoughts out there about it, for better and worse, and I am not well-read or researched enough, nor do I care enough to get into a major debate about it all.  But I will say this.  Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ LOVE women.  They love us.  First and foremost, Heavenly Father loves us because we are his daughters.  Period, end, done.  We don't have to do anything, be anything, get married, have children, have a great job, or "earn" His love in any other way we think necessary.  He loves us because we are His. I believe that we do have many divine qualities that are unique to our gender that were purposefully given to us because we are women.  Those qualities keep the world turning in partnership with men and the divine qualities they have.  God is so smart. 

Certainly not the reason why we are loved, especially since so many women don't, can't, or will never have the opportunity for this in life, but food for thought nonetheless: We, as women, are integral to the progression of life.  We give life.  Literally.  There is no more important task on this earth.  And we have it.  I think that is a privileged place to be in.  I'm not comparing motherhood to the priesthood.  I don't even necessarily think they are related.  What I am saying is that Heavenly Father loves us so much, and holds us in such high esteem, that He has trusted us enough to give us that task- to be the primary givers of life.  If you think about it, that is incredible!  God says to us, "Here.  Here is a spirit child of mine, that I love so much.  Carry him/her inside you, and be the conduit for the essential life and progression that this spirit needs."  It's astounding to me what an honor that is, in the big picture that I believe in. 

That may be kind of a side note, but here is my point:  God and Jesus Christ would never relegate us to second class citizen status.  No way.  It would not happen.  Following this logic, since I believe the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints to be Christ's church and the modern day vehicle for the gospel in its pure form, I have to conclude that the LDS Church would not do that either.  The holding of the Priesthood, in and of itself, is not so arbitrarily important that it places more significance on one person over another.  Neither do all the responsibilities that come with the holding of said Priesthood, like certain leadership positions in a congregation, or the giving of blessings.  I just don't believe that to be true.  

Is there gender inequality in the culture of the church, even down to some of the traditional ways a meeting is conducted?  Yes.  I am the first to say that there are improvements that can always be made, and the progress I have seen has been appreciated deeply.  I hadn't even thought about the fact that a woman had never prayed in General Conference until it happened for the first time, but you better believe I cried like a baby when it did, and thought, "Finally!"  I love my congregation in NYC because more often than not, a woman is the concluding speaker in Sacrament meeting, instead of it always being a man.  That's always kind of bothered me.

I also believe and validate that there are many women in the church who have had truly terrible experiences with priesthood holders supposedly acting under that mantle; none of my thoughts are meant to refute the validity of those experiences.   I know those things happen, and going back to what Josh said, I would think Heavenly Father grieves even more for His daughters in circumstances where the priesthood is misused.

I am saying that humanity is very imperfect, and that goes for the membership of the church.  In fact, people are idiots and jerks a lot.  We make mistakes, use bad judgement, take advantage of a small amount of power (D&C 121: 34-40), and do all sorts of other things.  But the doctrine of the church is still true, and beautiful, and pure.  And that is the priesthood I am talking about.  The fact that men hold that priesthood and I don't, doesn't bother me.  Because of my testimony, I am content to know that there is a reason for it, though I don't know it now.  I'm content that Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ love me, and would never NOT give me the priesthood because I am unworthy of it as a woman.  I'm content in my knowledge that I am just as important and crucial in this church as a man, even when I sometimes experience a man indicating otherwise.  I've been blessed in my life to be able to discern between culture and doctrine pretty easily, and I don't take that lightly.  I've also been blessed to be, for the most part, surrounded by wonderful men who respect and use their priesthood for the benefit of others, and do not make me feel "less than" in any way.

So, I guess I'm lucky.  Many women struggle with this issue much more than I do.  I try to be understanding, and I have no desire to negate their experiences, like I said.  But these are my feelings on the subject, and it all comes back to this: Jesus Christ loves women.  We are so important to Him, specifically as women.  Because of that, I don't believe for one second that He would send us to the back seat in His church, of which I believe I am a part. Therefore, the priesthood and me?  We're doing just fine, thanks.