I have been thinking about that phrase for a few days now. A couple of weeks ago I was at KMart, and after a completely routine check out, complete with minimal communication and not a lot of eye contact with the clerk, (very typical of NYC, and I have to say I fall into it sometimes as well. Not proud, but a true statement), I looked up at her at the end as I left and said, "Merry Christmas." Her eyes met mine, lit up, and she smiled and said, "Merry Christmas!" I walked away, my spirits immediately lifted and feeling the Christmas spirit. I vowed to myself that I would say it much more in my daily interactions with others this season.
Well, I haven't. I forget, I let the moment go, or, -and this has surprised me- I feel too insecure to say it to someone else. Now, why would that be? Is it because, amidst all this PC crap-and I do think it is crap- about not offending anyone, I have actually fallen into the trap of feeling like "Happy Holidays" is safer? Maybe sometimes. But I haven't even been saying that very much. I have had so many moments this season where I think, "I should have told that person Merry Christmas." But I let the moment pass by with nothing said and move on with my day.
The truth is, I realized that giving any kind of seasonal greeting is opening myself up to being vulnerable with that person. It is letting them know that I care about them enough to wish them a Merry Christmas. Why am I afraid; why is being vulnerable, even on this most basic level, uncomfortable? Maybe I have this fear that it will not be well-received. I want them to smile and say the same thing back, and what if they don't? Will I feel rejected in some small way? Maybe I just want to get on with my day and stay in my own little world, send my packages, buy my lunch, whatever, and not have any more human connection than necessary.
If that is the case, how did I get to be that person? That is probably a large can of worms that should be discussed with my therapist before putting it out there on the internets. ( I just so happen to have a session tomorrow.... ) But, this epiphany was really interesting for me. Why am I so weird about reaching out just enough to give someone a smile and a wish for their wellness this season? Time and time again, when I have actually taken a moment to do so, it has proven to make my day better just by making eye contact and sharing a moment with a stranger. We are so isolated as a society that even those two small words are a challenge. So odd.
To utter the words "Happy Holidays," or "Merry Christmas," are to make a connection with another human being. They matter. I told a Jewish girl that I work with last weekend "Happy Hanukkah," and she was thrilled, like it had meant so much to her. Maybe it didn't, but she was glad for the sentiment, and I was glad I had remembered to give it to her. We shared a moment. At least for me.
So, I am re-vowing to myself now to step outside, be brave and vulnerable, and let others know I want them to have a Merry Christmas. I can say Happy Holidays, but you know, I really do like "Merry Christmas" better. And honestly, I think most other people do too.
Let's do this. If anyone reads this, I am challenging you to really make a concerted effort in the next 5 days to tell people you come into contact with "Merry Christmas." Or something indicating your wish for their well-being this season. Just watch how others react. It is fascinating, and so fulfilling. I just think most of us have forgotten how to say it. And it really does mean a lot.
MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Funny, because I say it all the time! After all, I'm in Texas, y'all. We have no trouble saying things like this in my little pocket of the world. In fact, my insurance guy, who I have actually never met in person, just told me the other day in response to my concerns about my soon-to-be-16-year-old driving, "We pray for our children and our customers every day." He signs his e-mails, "Have a blessed day!" Just an example of the fact that in general, we are a far cry from NYC here. However, the other day, I said to a cashier, "Merry Christmas!" and there was no response at all. Zero. I did have a twinge, a little gut-wrench, when I thought, "Did I just offend that person?" So I really loved this post! Because I still feel the vast majority of people know you want happiness for them when you say "Merry Christmas!" and I will continue to do it.
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